• The Miller on the Dee
• The Drainer

The Miller on the Dee

Once on a time there lived on the banks of the River Dee a miller, who was the happiest man in England. He was always busy from morning till night, and he was always singing as merrily as any lark. He was so cheerful that he made everybody else cheerful; and people all over the land liked to talk about his pleasant ways. At last the king heard about him.

"I will go down and talk with this wonderful miller," he said. "Perhaps he can tell me how to be happy."

As soon as he stepped inside of the mill, he heard the miller singing:

"I envy nobody - no, not I!
For I'm as happy as I can be;
And nobody envies me."

"You're wrong, my friend," said the king. "You're wrong as wrong can be. I envy you; and I would gladly change places with you, if I could only be as light-hearted as you are."

The miller smiled, and bowed to the king.

"I'm sure I could not think of changing places with you, sir," he said.

"Now tell me," said the king, "what makes you so cheerful and glad here in your dusty mill, while I, who am king, am sad and in trouble every day."

The miller smiled again, and said, "I don't know why you are sad, but I can easily tell why I'm glad. I earn my own bread; I love my wife and my children; I love my friends, and they love me; and I owe not a penny to any man. Why should I not be happy? For here is the River Dee, and every day it turns my mill; and the mill grinds the corn that feeds my wife, my babes, and me."

"Say no more," said the king. "Stay where you are, and be happy still. But I envy you. Your dusty cap is worth more than my golden crown. Your mill does more for you than my kingdom can do for me. If there were more such men as you, what a good place this world would be! Good-by, my friend!"

The king turned about, and walked sadly away; and the miller went back to his work, singing:

"Oh, I'm as happy as happy can be;
For I live by the side of the River Dee!"

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The Drainer

In Northumberland, to the west of Rothbury and at the mid-point of the National Park, lies Coquetdale. Through this valley, the River Coquet meanders past rolling moorland, rocky outcrops and ancient hay meadows.

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There was a man who lived all by himself in an old thatched cottage in the moor near Coquetdale Water. He made his living by cutting surface drains in the pasture lands in the hills so that the grazing sheep on the hill meadows had more grass to feed on by and by.

He made his own food and lived a rather a solitary life. He was very fond of fishing. As the Coquetdale Water was quite near, he spent a lot of time at that, his favourite sport.

Early one morning as he was fishing, he happened to look down the water, and was a bit surprised to see a rather queer-looking man who was carrying something in his arms while looking for something in the water.

The drainer took the road down and hid himself in the bushes, so that he could watch the man's movements, for he had a strong suspicion that the other was after no good. As the man came nearer, the drainer now saw that he was carrying a baby. By all appearance he was looking for a deep hole in the water to throw it in.

There was a big hole just between the drainer and the man. So the drainer watched to see if he would stop at this hole. This was just what he did, and the drainer lost no time. He stepped out of his hiding place and demanded to know what the other was going to do with the baby. He saw that the other was a Yetholm gypsy.

"That is no business of yours," said the gypsy.

The drainer had the butt end of his rod in his hand. He raised it above his head, seized the gypsy, took the baby from him and laid it on the grass. Then he gave the gypsy such a beating that he was glad to get away. At a safe distance he cursed and swore at the drainer, but was relieved to make off all the same.

The drainer now turned to the child. It had been sleeping, but the noise of the two men had wakened it, and now it was crying. The drainer got it up in his arms, carried it home and fed it. He then looked a little at the baby's clothes, and found it could be some gentleman's child. There was also a grand gold locket and chain round its neck. The drainer took it off and opened it. There was a photo of a gentleman on one side and a young lady on the other.

The drainer put the gold locket and chain away in his storage chest for clothes and linen at home. He wanted to do his best for the child, and thought about bringing it up to work at the drains. At the same time he was anxious to find out who the child belonged to. He therefore made arrangements at a shepherd's house so that the baby could be fed and kept there for a while, while he travelled off, adopted the baby formally, and made inquiries.

Here is what he heard:

Further down the Coquet a gentleman and his wife lived in a mansion house and a small estate. They had an only child, a girl. This gentleman was a gambler and had run into debt, and was needing money badly. He did not much care what he did as long as he could get a way out. The gambler had a brother who was better in almost every way: he and his wife were good people and liked by everyone. However, they were both in poor health, and had to go away to a foreign place for the good of their health.

Not long after they had settled in their new foreign home, a child was born to them. But the mother did not recover, and died shortly after the birth of their baby boy. The father wrote to his brother on the Coquet and told him he was feeling very poorly, and asked him if he would bring up is son if anything happened to himself. He also wrote he had a small fortune to leave his son when he grew up and was of an age to look after it himself, but if anything should happen to the boy, the brother would get the money himself.

When his brother got this letter, he wrote and told he would take great care of the boy, and would give him his fortune when he came of age.

Not long after this, he got word that his brother had died. The gambler brother had to go to see about his brother's affairs at the foreign quarters, and bring the child home to the Coquet. After arriving home with the child, he gave the child to the care of the old housekeeper.

The brother had got a considerable sum of money that his brother left for this child, and as he was badly needing money, he began to think of getting rid of the boy in some way. At last he offered a Yetholm gypsy ten pounds to drown the boy. The gypsy willingly accepted the job, and promised to do the job all right.

The gentleman then told the housekeeper he was taking the child away to a friend for some time, but the housekeeper did not think he was telling the truth. She had seen when she was dressing the child he had a gold locket and chain round his neck. She was also well acquainted with the child's baby clothes, and she was very sorry when the baby was taken away.

Now, after the drainer had rescued the baby from being drowned, they were getting on fine, and he loved the boy as his own son. He had to take the child with him when he went to the drains. He was awfully good to it, and it knew him only as its own father. He grew up to be a fine lad, and a great help to his father. His father taught him to read and write in his spare time; and they boy helped his father with the drains. He was also fond of fishing.

When he was nearly out of his teens in age, one evening as he was fishing at the foot of some rocky cliffs, he was alarmed by sudden screaming up on the crags above him. He had to run some distance to a grassy bank where he could climb up to see what was wrong. He arrived at the top and looked over where the screams came from. There he saw a young lady. She had fallen over and was clinging to some roots. He saw that if she let go, she would be dashed to death.

He cried to her to hold on, and that he would save her. He was soon down and got hold of her. After a bit of a struggle, he brought her up to the top.

The young lady was so thankful. She asked him his name, but he would not tell her. She said if he would come with her, her father would reward him, but he told her to say nothing more about it.

Some time after when he was at the fishing, they met again and became friendly for some time, and then fell in love with each other. After going together for about a year, he asked her to be his wife, and she would.

But neither of them had told their parents; and when the young girl told her father, who was no other than the young man's uncle,, he forbade his daughter to meet him again.

The drainer noticed that there was a great change in his son's looks, that he seemed to be worrying about something. One night he asked his son what was wrong. The son did not care to tell his father, but when the father asked if the trouble had anything to do with the sweetheart, the son told him his sweetheart was forbidden to meet him again, as he was only a drainer's son.

The father asked his son if the young lady had agreed to marry him.

"Yes," said the son, "she wants it very much."

"Then get yourself dressed. I will go down with you to her father, and I will put this right."

The son did not know that his father knew about his birth rights. After dressing, they set out for the mansion house. There they knocked at the door, and the old housekeeper came out. They told the old woman why they had come, and let her see the gold locket and chain.

She recognised it at once, and told she would be a witness. So she went to the gentleman's room and told him the drainer wanted to speak to him. He told her he didn't want to see the drainer, but the drainer was just behind the door, and walked in.

"Well, sir, you don't want to see me but I have come to claim my adopted son's rights. You thought the gypsy you employed to drown your brother's son, had drowned him, and you thought to get all your brother's wealth he had left to his son. But you are found out, and I will now demand the fortune that was left to him, for he is a heir, and I have proof that I speak the truth. Here is the gold locket and chain, and the clothes that were on him when I got him. Your housekeeper can prove it."

The housekeeper spoke up, "They are the same things which the baby had on when I dressed it."

"Now," said the drainer, "hand over every penny of his fortune, and I will give you twenty-four hours to get out of the country, or I will hand you over to the police."

The gentleman saw he was done. He gave the lad his father's money and begged the drainer to give him time to escape out of the country.

The drainer's son married the young lady, and both the drainer and his son took over the mansion house. The drainer stopped the draining and lived with them on the banks of the Coquet. The old housekeeper got her job on for life.

Retold from Briggs 1991, 357-59, whose reference is "School of Scottish Studies, John Elliot Notebook, 1952. Selkirkshire." A similar theme is also in "The Dorsetshire Garland", published in London ca. 1760. A common motif of both: S.71, Cruel uncle.