Counselling is guidance offered to help a person resolve social or personal problems. Among friends it could be free-flowing for good or bad or just so-so, and with professionals it costs money and some measure of indepencence as well, no matter how ill-founded or good the fare goes. A little good counselling may be a good thing, though.
If there is no name given after a quotation, 'T. Kinnes' may do.
A decent counsellor informs, bears witness, reasons and explains. A better and enlivening counsellor exposes, uncovers and inspires too, as the case may be.
Advice is seldom welcome, and those who need it the most, like it the least (Lord Chesterfield).
As for wise counsellors, he must be a wise man himself who is capable of distinguishing one (With Diogenes).
Fairytales that end with "They lived happily ever after," probably do not take into account a rising need for marriage counselling aiming for love and intimacy.
He that gives good advice, builds with one hand; he that gives good counsel and example, builds with both; but he that gives good admonition and bad example, builds with one hand and pulls down with the other (Francis Bacon).
If I didn't define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people's fantasies for me, and eaten alive (Audre Lorde).
If it's free, it's advice; if you pay for it, it's counselling; if you can use either one, it's a miracle (Jack Adams).
If two are counselled and one of them is on a looney train or suffers from hidden, growing diseases, neglectful and unfit advice could result, and much untoward may then follow.
If you have marriage problems, you might profit from new skills and more emotional security, as the case may be.
In a marriage, the chance to grow is rarely based on blaming one another and getting hardened.
In matters of religion and matrimony I never give any advice; because I will not have anybody's torments in this world or the next laid to my charge (Lord Chesterfield 1694-1773: letter to Arthur Charles Stanhope, 12 October 1765. In Oq 6).
It takes nearly as much ability to know how to profit by good advice as to know how to act for one's self (François de La Rochefoucauld).
Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall (Confucius).
The counselled in the art of living may eventually differ from others.
The graveyards are full of ill-counselling people.
Those who intend to counsel others for years, should not go wrong by charging for their services if they are good.
To bring what you think, what you say and what you do in harmony, is a key. The question is what it opens up to.
To function usefully as yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is a great accomplishment, also for the phlegmatic-minded.
To the well-organized mind, good counsel may be a step toward a great adventure.
British and American Proverbs on Counsel
Advice should precede the act (Ap 9).
Advice is something the wise don't need and the fools won't take (Ap 9).
Counsel must be followed, not praised (Ap 118).
Examine well the counsel that favours your desires (Ap 118).
In vain he asks advice that will not follow it (Ap 10).
Many receive advice, but only the wise profit from it (Ap 10).
Good counsel is cast away upon the selfconceited (Ap 118).
The wise man keeps his own counsel (Ap 118).
Take heed is a fair thing (Dp 3).
Do not darken counsel with words without knowledge (Ap 118).
Good counsel brings good fruit (Ap 118).
Like counsellor, like counsel (Dp 4).
Counsel is irksome when the matter is past remedy (Dp 3).
When a thing is done, advice comes too late (Dp 3).
When the rats want advice, they never ask the mice (Ap 11).
Ask advice, but use your own common sense (Ap 10).
If the counsel be good, no matter who gave it (Dp 5; cf. Ap 118).
Advice may be least heeded when most needed (Cf. Ap 9).
Whatever advice you give, try and be brief (Cf. Ap 10).
Advice to a fool goes in one ear and out the other (Ap 9).
He was slain that had warning, not he that took it (Dp 4).
Bird, Polly. Improve Your Time Management. London: Teach Yourself / Hodder Education, 2010.
Cochran, Jeff J., and Nancy H. Cochran. The Heart of Counseling: Counseling Skills Through Therapeutic Relationships. 2nd ed. London: Routledge, 2015.
Corrie, Sarah. The Art of Inspired Living: Coach Yourself with Positive Psychology. London: Karnac Books, 2009.
de Board, Robert. Counselling for Toads: A Psychological Adventure. London: Routledge, 1997.
Enelow, Wendy, S., and Shelly Goldman. Insider's Guide to Finding a Job: Expert Advice from America's Top Employers and Recruiters. Indiananpolis, IN: JIST Works, 2005.
Evans, Gail. Counselling Skills For Dummies. Chichester: John Wiley, 2007.
Feltham, Colin, and Windy Dryden. Brief Counselling: A Practical Integrative Approach. 2nd ed. Maidenhead, Berkshire: Open University Press, 2006.
Ferguson Publishing: Organization Skills. 2nd ed. New York: Ferguson Publishing, 2004.
Hough, Margaret. Counselling Skills and Theory. 4th ed. London: Hodder Education, 2014.
Kronman, Anthony T. Education's End: Why Our Colleges and Universities Have Given Up on the Meaning of Life. London: Yale University Press, 2007.
Management Extra. Manage Yourself. Oxford: Elsevier, Butterworth, Heinemann, 2005.
Milne, Aileen. Understand Counselling: Teach Yourself. 4th ed. London: Teach Yourself / Hodder Education, 2010.
Preston, David Lawrence. 365 Ways to Be Your Own Life Coach: A Programme for Personal and Professional Growth - In Just a Few Minutes a Day. 2nd ed. Oxford: How To Books, 2009.
Pyke, Gary, and Stuart Neath. Be Your Own Career Consultant: How to unlock your career potential. London: Pearson Education, 2002.
Sanders, Pete. First Steps in Counselling: A Students' Companion for Basic Introductory Courses. 3rd ed. Ross-on-Wye: PCCS Books, 2002.
Sonstegard, Manford A., James Robert Bitter, with Peggy Pelonis. Adlerian Group Counseling and Therapy Step-by-Step. Hove, East Sussex: Brunner-Routledge, 2004.
Stewart, Ian. Transactional Analysis Counselling in Action. 3rd ed. London: Sage Publications, 2007.
Sutton, Jan, and William Stewart. Learning to Counsel: Develop the Skills, Insight and Knowledge to Counsel Others. 3rd ed., amended reprint. Oxford: How To Books, 2009.
Collections of Proverbs and Quotations
Ap: Mieder, Wolfgang (main ed.), Stewart A. Kingsbury, and Kelsie E. Harder: A Dictionary of American Proverbs. (Paperback) New York: Oxford University Press, 1996.
Dp: Fergusson, Rosalind. The Penguin Dictionary of Proverbs. Harmondsworth: Penguin, 1983.
Oq: Ratcliffe, Susan, ed. The Oxford Dictionary of Thematic Quotations. New York: Oxford University Press, 2000.
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