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Marriage Quotations for Sobering Up a Bit

There are many sides to marriage, and therefore many sayings about it too. These expressions are in the form of proverbs, amusing poems, aphorisms and other quoted pieces. Below are 45 marriage quotations to reflect about. Sayings marked by * are by me. - Tormod Kinnes

Twig

A dress that zips up the back will bring a husband and wife together. [James H. Boren]

A happy marriage has in it all the pleasures of friendships, all the enjoyment of sense and reason - and indeed all the sweets of life. [Joseph Addison]

A man is quite satisfied if his wife is a good cook, a good valet, an attentive audience, and a patient nurse. [A common say]

After marriage, once you have a baby, time management is difficult. Your priorities change. [With Kajol]

Alimony is like buying oats for a dead horse. [Arthur Baer]

Bachelors have consciences, married men have wives. [Samuel Johnson]

By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. [Socrates]

Getting a dog teaches you to be less self-centred, to accept sudden, surprising outbursts of affection, and not to be upset by a few scratches on your car. [Will Staunton]

How do we explain love after two people have been looking at each other for years? [Author Unknown]

I dreamed of a wedding of elaborate elegance,
A church filled with family and friends
I asked him what kind of a wedding he wished for,
He said one that would make me his wife.
[Author Unknown]

If you are afraid of loneliness, don't marry. [Anton Chekhov]

If you cannot afford to get married and raise children or pay the alimony, it hadly pays to drink lots of beer.

It could pay to be very, very careful about who you marry, when, and for what reasons could pay in the long run, by well-running family living. Astrologers ponder to the first two things after drawing special charts, and may also evaluate whether the reasons for a marriage look all right - because it has been recognised for thousands of years that it matters so much who marries whom, and when, and so on. *

It is not from reason and prudence that people marry, but from inclination. [Samuel Johnson ]

It is not marriage that fails; it is people that fail. Marriage shows people up. [With Harry Emerson Fosdick]

It's terribly hard to be married . . . you have to be an angel. [August Strindberg, A Dream Play]

Life is so short. One had better keep it quite simple. *

Love is blind, but marriage restores its sight. [Samuel Lichtenberg]

Love one another but . . . let it be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping. And stand together, yet not too near together: the pillars of the temple stand apart. [Abstracted from Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet]

Marriage asks for some balance and a fit partner. *

Marriage is good for those who are afraid to sleep alone at night. [St. Jerome, Attack on Jovinian]

Marriage is probably the chief cause of divorce. [Larry Gelbart, M*A*S*H, "Bulletin Board,"]

Marriage requires at least a willingness to live. [Cf. Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966]

Married men live longer than single men, but are said to be more willing to die. [with Johnny Carson]

Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but Heaven can't help but smile on it. Hope that. *

Men don't settle down because of the right woman. Not necessarily the best one or the prettiest, just the one who happened to be on hand when the time got to be about right - when they are tired. They settle down because they are finally ready for it. [With Laurell K. Hamilton, A Kiss of Shadows; Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray ]

Mother-in-law: a woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers. [Author Unknown]

My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God, and I didn't. [Author Unknown]

Never strike your wife – even with a flower. [Hindu Proverb]

Only choose in marriage a man whom you would choose as a friend if he were a woman. [Joseph Joubert]

Our wedding was many years ago. The celebration continues to this day. [Gene Perret]

She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook. [Tommy Manville]

Single parenthood is hopefully understood by other single parents. *

Strange to say what delight we married people have to see these poor fools decoyed into our condition. [Samuel Pepys]

Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate. [Barnett R. Brickner]

That quiet mutual gaze of a trusting husband and wife is like the first moment of rest or refuge from a great weariness or a great danger. [George Eliot]

The bonds of matrimony are like any other bonds – they mature slowly. [Peter De Vries]

The ghost of your ancestors stood between you and the person you loved - someone that acted less than honorable. [With Shannon L. Alder]

The night seemed to fade into blossoming dawn, the sun shone anew but the dance lingered on. [Dubin/Frankl]

The older I get, the less time I want to spend with the part of the human race that didn't marry me. [Robert Brault]

The secret of a happy marriage remains almost a secret. [With Henny Youngman]

Three rings of marriage are the engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering. [Author Unknown]

To be married to a man who makes you laugh every day, ah, now that's a real treat. [Joanne Woodward]

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits and then complain that he's not the man she married? [Barbra Streisand]

Wives are young men's mistresses; companions for middle age; and old men's nurses. [Francis Bacon, "Of Marriage and Single Life," Essays or Counsels, Civil and Moral, 1625]

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