Shyness suggests being nervous or embarrassed about meeting and speaking to other people. Shyness may involve discomfort of difficulty in knowing what to say in social situations, and uneasines too. In social encounters, embarrassed ones may get shy or shyer. It obviously helps to get strengthened in some ways. Doing some well-chosen exercises may be helpful, at least encouraging.
It should help somewhat to develop or improve one's social skills. Skills training could bring opportunities to develop further abilitoes to participate in groups and interact as is fit. Besides, teachers can gently encourage shy students to speak up.
The initial cause of shyness varies. There is evidence that suggests the environment a person is raised in can have its share in developing shyness, and very bad experiences too. Child abuse, chiding and ridicule, for example, can cause and worsen shyness. Also, the term shyness can be linked to timidity (apprehension in meeting new people), bashfulness and reluctance in asserting oneself. Shy ones may be socially inhibited somehow, that is, constrained - from mildly to severely. Being socially inhibited can work well when preventing one from harming oneself, one's dear ones, one's precious belongings, or others, so there may be a silver lining there.
Stronger and broader forms of shyness are usually referred to as social anxiety or social phobia. The following, alphabetically arranged quips and sayings on shyness are not about social phobias.
Behind displays of coolness, insecurities might lurk. Better accept the shyness it if you do not want to greatly popular at the expense of being yourself and very happy.
Children who are made to fear are more likely to develop shyness than less fearful children.
Do some adequate form of the yogic breathing method ujjayi to improve, for example with your eyes closed. Ujjayi
Dr Rudolf Steiner thinks that shy children may have much depth, like still water.
Hispanic students may feel shy towards being praised by teachers in front of others, for in these cultures students are rewarded in private with a touch, a smile, or spoken word of praise. It is common for Hispanic students to be reserved in classroom settings. Further, Hispanic students may seem shy when they are not.
If you can answer "What caused me to feel embarrassed here?", you may have found at least the fringe of some solutions as well.
In a social setting, check yourself by such as: "Am I breathing as deeply as is good for me? Relaxed? And moving with skills or grace enough?
In other cultures, shy people may be perceived as being good listeners, and more likely to think before they speak.
Just because you're shy doesn't mean you are not intelligent, research findings indicate.
Low acceptance of shyness or introversion in a society may reinforce a shy or introverted individual's low self-confidence.
Often confused with shyness, introversion does not imply social reticence or discomfort. [Laurie Helgoe]
Shy people may be able to bring sensitivity to social interactions, including sensitivity to the emotions of others, contemplation of ideas, and valuable listening skills.
Shyness affects people mildly in unfamiliar social situations where one feels anxiety about interacting with new people.
Shyness does not equal low self-esteem. [Cf. Bernardo Carducci]
Shyness is most likely to set in during unfamiliar situations. Further, in some cases it may turn into a lifelong character trait.
Shyness is not a "disease," personality deficit, or character flaw. [Cf. Bernardo Carducci]
Shyness is often seen as a hindrance for a fair future development.
Shyness-sensitivity has been positively associated with sociability-leadership and with peer acceptance in a Chinese setting.
Sociologist Susie Scott: "By treating shyness as an individual pathology, . . . we forget that this is also a socially oriented state of mind that is socially produced and managed."
Some of the world's most famous, richest, smartest and bravest people are shy. [Cf. Bernardo Carducci]
Symptoms of shyness are not intense enough and numerous enough to constitute a panic attack. Shyness may cause shortness of breath too, but at a quite low intensity, without interfere tremendously with normal living.
Test scores indicate that shyness is unrelated to actual academic knowledge.
The other side of the issue: "Shys are probably more sensitive, and nicer people, than 'normals'. I shouldn't have to change: society should adapt to meet my needs."
There are shy cats, shy fish, and shy dogs too. [Cf. Bernardo Carducci]
Views on shyness as a valuable asset can vary by culture.
We may cater to things we do all right and focus on doing them for a while. That could change the tides. Quiet understanding tends to help too.
When being rejected, feel free to "dust off the dirt and move on" as naturally as can be. And then improve some social skills in time by reflecting on and practising very useful things to say and do ahead of time, before your encounters.
You may also try some vizualisation. Visualise yourself into situations where you would like to do better, a little at a time. Use the power of imagination to your advantage. You can focus towards something that can benefit you.
Antony, Martin M. 10 Simple Solutions to Shyness: How to Overcome Shyness, Social Anxiety, and Fear of Public Speaking. Oakland, CA: The New Harbinger, 2004. —— Professor Antony offers ten simple exercises to help in shedding shyness and start socializing better, which is understood as "with courage, poise, and composure" as it could be needed. A very positive book.
Carducci, Bernardo. Shyness: A Bold New Approach. New York: Harper Perenneal, 2000. —— Professor Carducci points out that shyness does not equal low self-esteem; is not a "disease," personality deficit, or character flaw, and there are shy cats, shy fish, and shy dogs too. Besides, some of the world's most famous, richest, smartest and bravest people are shy. So shy children may have much inside them, and which comes to the fore later in life, if they are not stiffled a lot.
Stein, Murray B., and John R. Walker. Triumph over Shyness: Conquering Shyness and Social Anxiety. New York: McGraw-Hill, 2002. —— An endorsed book in the American self-help tradition of 'conquering shyness', with the message that for all with a fay-like tendency to withdraw from people, particularly unfamiliar people, that some "help is available". It would be wise to learn, train in and practice certain skills, and adhere to the good guidelines for coping with difficult social situations. The book further contains some tips on how parents may help their children conquer shyness.
Zimbardo, Philip G. Shyness: What It Is. What to Do about It. London: Addison-Wesley, 1977. —— Dr. Zimbardo's studies show there could be some ninety million shy people in America today, including "secretly shy" celebrities. He also offers advice on how shy people may strengthen their social skills and self-confidence so they can more easily participate in life, and maintain their "personal sense of worth and mastery" (p. 120). He also recommends Carducci's book (above).
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