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"You know Fatty Schultz the butcher. What do you suppose he weighs?"
"I don't know, what does he weigh?"
TEACHER: Thomas, can you tell me which battle Nelson was killed in?
TOMMY (after a moment's reflection): I think it was his last.
COURTNEY: When you proposed to Miss Dexter, did you get down on your knees?
BARCLAY: No, I couldn't; she was sitting on them.
He used to send her roses;
At a West End hotel one of the party asked:
"Have you got any celery, waiter?"
"No, sir," was the significant answer; "I relies on me tips."
From another source
"I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me." [Australian]
Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
The one who invented the door knocker got a No-bell prize.
The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
Alcohol and calculus don't mix so don't drink and derive.
Pun - what it is
Pun is a form of word play. Two or more meanings may be into it, or words that sound similarly. Puns are a source of humour.
Puns were found in ancient Egypt: they were much used there, even to interpret dreams.
Source: Brown, Thomas A., and T. J. Carey. The New Pun Book. New York: Carey-Stafford, 1906.
The three last puns are from "Funniest Puns and Jokes (Pun of the Day)" (passim). PunoftheDay.com. Accessed 8 Oct 2011. - Recommended.
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