Pun from Brown and Carey's New Pun Book and Pun of the Day

"You know Fatty Schultz the butcher. What do you suppose he weighs?"

"I don't know, what does he weigh?"

"Meat."

TEACHER: Thomas, can you tell me which battle Nelson was killed in?

TOMMY (after a moment's reflection): I think it was his last.

COURTNEY: When you proposed to Miss Dexter, did you get down on your knees?

BARCLAY: No, I couldn't; she was sitting on them.

He used to send her roses;
He sent them every hour,
But now they're married and he sends
Her home a cauliflower.

At a West End hotel one of the party asked:

"Have you got any celery, waiter?"

"No, sir," was the significant answer; "I relies on me tips."

From another source

"I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me." [Australian]

Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

The one who invented the door knocker got a No-bell prize.

The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

Alcohol and calculus don't mix so don't drink and derive.

Pun - what it is

Pun is a form of word play. Two or more meanings may be into it, or words that sound similarly. Puns are a source of humour.

Puns were found in ancient Egypt: they were much used there, even to interpret dreams.

Source: Brown, Thomas A., and T. J. Carey. The New Pun Book. New York: Carey-Stafford, 1906.

The three last puns are from "Funniest Puns and Jokes (Pun of the Day)" (passim). PunoftheDay.com. Accessed 8 Oct 2011. - —— Recommended.